Monday, October 14, 2013

14 cute-ass goats

#1 Skating goat

You know what is cute? Animals doing human things. Here's a goat skating.

#2 Goat skating human

This goat is skating a human, and the other goats are like, "let me skate that person." That's the life of a goat: skating and yearning.

#3 Baby goat napping in Lena Dunham's arms

This isn't actually Lena Dunham, and that's not actually a goat. It's a regular goat that has been photoshopped. 

#4 Trampoline goat

That's not actually a trampoline, but this is a listicle of cute goats. You didn't come here for the science. You came for the goats.

 #5 Goat riding in a car

This goat isn't wearing her seatbelt, because the vehicle is stationary, because she's a baby goat, and baby goats ain't got nowhere to be.

 #6 Goat that hates cops

This goat wrote a 'zine entitled ACAB: All Cops Are Bastards. The goat was arrested for assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon, and his bail was set at sixty-thousand dollars. The charges were later reduced to disturbing the peace, then hooliganism, and finally to loitering. The goat is bringing the decision to appeals.

 #7 Goat defending buckets

What are in the buckets? Nothing. They are empty buckets. The goat isn't into property rights as much as he's into starting shit. This goat is an asshole, and nipped my dog with her creepy human teeth. I hate this goat, but damn is he cute.

 #8 Goat hugged by dog

This goat is named Cynthia, and the dog Horse. They have known each other for two years, and met in law school. Horse is now working for a tech company based in Boulder, Colorado, and Horse failed the LSAT the first time though plans to take it again in the Spring.

#9 Goat family

If you just saw that one goat, you'd think it was a baby. That's why those other dudes are all up next to it. For scale.

 #10 Goat in dishwasher

This is a goat, not a dish. It doesn't want to be in the dishwasher when it is on, or anything, it just thinks small spaces are interesting, and spends a lot of time hanging in small spaces, looking for small spaces to hang in, and thinking about hanging in small spaces.

 #11 Goat with concerned dog

This dog left thinks she left the iron on. It's cool. It's one of those fancy irons that goes off after ten minutes if you leave it alone. Also, there is no iron.

#12 Goat held by small child

This goat was grown in the small child's laboratory. This would be very impressive if not for the fact he was going for a chicken.

 #13 Goat by orange soda

I was paid forty dollars to post this by Pepsi Co. Drink Pepsi.

 #14 Optical illusion goat

This is a regular sized goat up close. It was my desktop background for most of 2012.